CONVICTED!!!!!!!

Wow!  Okay, I have to share what just happened to me...  

I bought a piece of carrot cake last night from the Celebrate Recovery table at church.  I knew at the time I did not need it.  My friend Shane even walked in as I was scanning the table and said "You don't need that." I looked up and spouted off all my rationalizations to her as she walked by.  Then I paid for my cake, 3 cookies, a Diet Dr. Pepper (yuck!) for my husband, grabbed a bottle of water for me (it is healthy, right?), and walked out the door.  Mike and I shared the cookies and I ate half the piece of carrot cake.  I wrapped up the rest with the intentions of eating it later.  

This morning as I was taking my daughter to school I noticed that I had accidentally left the cake in my front seat.  I immediately thought "Mmm... that will make an AWESOME breakfast!"  The rest of the way to and from her school I thought about that stupid piece of cake.  On Mondays, C goes to a different school for GT and I always LOVE taking her because I get to see the lake in the mornings.  It is always amazing and makes me reflect on how blessed we are to be back here in our hometown.  

Want to hear something sad?  I was so obsessed with this cake that I honestly do not even remember noticing anything about the lake this morning except two men fishing on a boat that was pretty close to the causeway that I have to cross to get back into town. 

HOW PATHETIC IS THAT???

So I get home, clean up the kitchen from the before school craziness, and stick the half eaten piece of cake in the freezer to chill it quickly.  I really like cold desserts with warm coffee, and I just knew that this would be the perfect breakfast during my quiet time.

I get out all my Bibles (I use several different versions when studying) and get the table all situated to sit, read, and enjoy my yummy breakfast treat.  

CONFESSION:  I mostly just wanted to eat the cake and get on with the rest of it so I would have done my daily duty of ready scripture.  I know... HORRIBLE ATTITUDE!!!

I get the cake out of the freezer and it is chilled to the perfect temperature.  Yippee!  I top off my coffee and sit down.  Then, I open up my prayer journal and begin writing.  All of a sudden I feel this guilt.  I glance over and see the cake and think "That's really not a good breakfast."  I begin praying for all the things on my list.

As I am sitting here praying I think about how I really should be praying aloud.  I do not know about you, but when I pray aloud it is just... well... different.  This may sound silly to you, but I feel a stronger connection when my prayers are actually spoken aloud.  Not only do I feel a connection, but I typically feel more conviction.  I guess it is because I am audibly admitting my depravity before God and myself.  So I then begin praying aloud... the tears begin to flow.  

This is typical for me.  I tend to be a pretty emotional person.  It is simply how HE made me.  Sometimes I love it (like during prayer) and sometimes I hate it (like when I am angry).  So I sit here and pray and cry.  It is wonderful!  My attitude about my quiet time ALWAYS changes after prayer, especially after praying aloud.  It is like my mind is saying "Okay, Lord, I'm sorry for having such a cruddy attitude about spending time with you.  I'm ready... speak to me.", and then I dive into the Word.  HIS WORD.

I grab my ESV Bible.  This is the one I always begin with.  I feel like it is more accurate than NIV, NLT, or The Message because it is a more literal, "word for word" translation.  The others are "phrase for phrase".  I have this wonderful ESV that was a gift from my brother and sister in law.  It is a journaling Bible, so there are large lined side margins to jot down all my notes and thoughts as I study.

Today is April 23rd, so I flip open to Proverbs 23.  I begin to read...

"When you sit down to eat with a ruler, observe carefully what is before you, and put a knife to your throat if you are given to appetite.  Do not desire his delicacies, for they are deceptive food..."

Hmm... I glance over at the cake.  "You don't need that."  I first think.  Then "It's only half a piece, and once it's gone it's gone.  No big deal."  

I look at these first few verses again and decide to read again in another version.  Quickly, I shove the first bite of cake into my mouth.  Grabbing the NIV I read "When you sit to dine with a ruler, note well what is before you, and put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony..."  I immediately think "gross... what am I doing?"  

Keep in mind I'm still chewing at this point.

Then I move on to the NLT "When dining with a ruler, pay attention to what is put before you, big eater..."  Swallow... gag!  "Seriously?! WHAT are you doing you "BIG EATER'?!" I think as I chunk the remaining cake in the TRASH!

Take that, carrot cake!

I know that this scripture most likely means that we should be careful when eating with an important individual and be cautious of what they may be trying to accomplish.  The thing is though, this morning that is not at all what it meant to me!

This morning, I sat down with MY ruler... my KING.  I was so overcome by this dumb piece of cake that I was giving in to this craving and allowing myself to cave into temptation that I KNEW good and well I did not NEED.  I seriously felt sick.  Like vomit sick.  My obsession was totally putting God on the back burner and causing me to focus on something other than HIM.  

So here I made one decision... one CHOICE to throw that mess away.  I also made the choice to gladly finish my quiet time CAKE FREE!  You know what I feel now?  JOY!  Thank you, Lord, for conviction to make a healthier decision!

I remember reading one time about a woman who prayed that each time asking God to allow her to be sick each time she ate something unhealthy.  Not like in a weird, eating disorder sort of way, just when she ate unhealthy things.. like CAKE.  I must admit, I thought this was a little crazy.  This morning though, I totally experienced some bad feelings that I KNOW were a result of conviction.  Has anything like this ever happened to you?  What do you think about that woman's prayer?  

Confession

Okay, so I have to admit something.  On Wednesday of this week I had a complete and total pity party for myself.  My bad mood pretty much consumed me the entire day, from the moment I woke until the moment I went to bed..  Do you ever have those days?  I just felt stressed and so sorry for myself.  Why?  I have no idea!

Here is what I do know.  On Wednesday, I decided to make a few changes.

1. Get back to reading a chapter of Proverbs a day.  I had been in a slump and putting it off.  There was no good reason, only excuses of busyness.  To be honest, I just got LAZY, and I truly believe that the reason I felt so awful on Wednesday was a result of me not being in the word.  I already feel more rested than I did on Wednesday.
2. Begin taking a multi-vitamin.  I have NEVER been good at this.  Taking pills is not hard for me, I have just never liked it.  I have used this an excuse.  It is time for me to take charge of my health and make a little more effort to take care of myself.  If I am not going to eat perfectly the least I can do is take a vitamin!
3. Drink more water.  This decision was actually made as a result of taking the vitamin, but something I have wanted and NEEDED to do forever.  I have to take it with a full glass of water.  That is one glass a day.  Here is another confession... I NEVER drink water.  Sad, huh?  Since I am adding this glass, I might as well add more.  I would love to totally eliminate soda, but I am not there quite yet.  I have not had one in several days though.  I can go a week or so without it, so it really is not something I would consider to be a problem.  Right now, I am trying to make every other drink a glass or bottle of water.

Want to hear something great?  It is Friday.  My slump was Wednesday.  I already feel MUCH better!!!  Thank you, God, for simple changes that can make an enormous difference!

Proverbs

A little over a month ago, I began reading a chapter a day.  This very precious friend of mine pointed out that there are 31 chapters in the book of Proverbs.  If you read the chapter that coincides with the day of the month, you can read it over and over again every month and really study the book in depth.  Now WHY have I never thought of that?!!

The really cool thing for me is that when I typically try to use any type of method with a Bible study or quiet time I will miss a day and then feel like I have to play catch up.  This can sometimes be very discouraging, especially if you miss more than one day.  That is when I typically will just continue to put it off and then end up never getting back into it.  With this method, you just read whatever day it is.  No pressure to catch up, because next month you will be reading it again.  Another great thing is that reading this over and over each month will help me to memorize and more easily recall some of what I am reading.
 
Now do not get me wrong, I know that I need to be reading more than only Proverbs!  This has been a great refreshing new start for me though!  My plan is to slowly start incorporating another book of the Bible in with what I am already doing.  The point is to stick with it and make it a habit!

Today is April 12th, so I read Proverbs 12.  The following is this chapter in the New Living Translation.  I like to get out several different translations and read it several different ways.  I also use biblegateway.com quite often.  It is a really neat website!



"To learn, you must love discipline; it is stupid to hate correction.  The Lord approves of those who are good, but he condemns those who plan wickedness. Wickedness never brings stability, but the godly have deep roots. A worthy wife is a crown for her husband, but a disgraceful woman is like cancer in his bones. The plans of the godly are just; the advice of the wicked is treacherous. The words of the wicked are like a murderous ambush, but the words of the godly save lives. The wicked die and disappear, but the family of the godly stands firm. A sensible person wins admiration, but a warped mind is despised. Better to be an ordinary person with a servant than to be self-important but have no food. The godly care for their animals, but the wicked are always cruel. A hard worker has plenty of food, but a person who chases fantasies has no sense. Thieves are jealous of each other’s loot, but the godly are well rooted and bear their own fruit. The wicked are trapped by their own words, but the godly escape such trouble. Wise words bring many benefits, and hard work brings rewards. Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others. A fool is quick-tempered, but a wise person stays calm when insulted. An honest witness tells the truth; a false witness tells lies. Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing. Truthful words stand the test of time, but lies are soon exposed. Deceit fills hearts that are plotting evil; joy fills hearts that are planning peace! No harm comes to the godly, but the wicked have their fill of trouble. The Lord detests lying lips,    but he delights in those who tell the truth. The wise don’t make a show of their knowledge, but fools broadcast their foolishness. Work hard and become a leader; be lazy and become a slave. Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up. The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray. Lazy people don’t even cook the game they catch, but the diligent make use of everything they find. The way of the godly leads to life; that path does not lead to death."




So here is one more change I am making.  The fact that I am doing one day at a time and one chapter at a time has really helped me to stick with it and stay in the word... HIS WORD.  Hopefully by being more diligent in this, I am not only making an outward change, but an inward change.

Have a wonderful Thursday!

Word of the Week = REST!

This week's word is REST.

Rest... WOW!  This is something that has ALWAYS been tough for me.  I have never really been one to enjoy slowing down.  It is definitely something I have had to work hard on the past year or so.  I have been making a conscious effort to SLOW DOWN and SIMPLIFY.  Now that it is happening a little more often, I am LOVING it!!!

Our pastor, Greg Sykes, taught us about rest on Sunday.  We have been doing a study in Hebrews for the past several weeks.  I am amazed at how applicable each week has been to my life RIGHT NOW.  Coincidence?  I think not!  This week, we were in Hebrews 4:1-11.

Here is a link to Sunday's sermon.  It was wonderful!  I am so thankful to be a part of such a wonderful group of individuals who come together for the purpose of glorifying our awesome God!


Here is Rest - Hebrews 4:1-11

Miss Wacey Gave Me a Fun Idea!

Miss Wacey... She was my son's Sunday School teacher and also taught him for a while at Mother's Day Out.  He called her "Miss Wacey" and the name just sort of stuck.  Miss Wacey moved to Washington and we sure do miss her!  Here's a silly picture of she and I at her going away party.

Well, to get to the point of all this, my friend, Lacey, has a blog.  Her most recent post included her bucket list.  How fun is that?!  There are many things I have always said I wanted to do.  I have never really put forth the effort to write them down though. 

I have decided to make myself a real list.  Yes, Lacey, I am copying you!  Maybe one of the things on my list should be to come visit you!  I will have to really think on what I want on my list before I make it.  It needs to be realistic, but fun.  After I make my bucket list, I will share here and also share as I hopefully achieve the goals and experience the fun items on my list!

Do you have a bucket list?  

Do you have any suggestions for my list?